One of the things that I see often in the parents I work with is shame. They may or may not articulate it, but most are ashamed of the actions that caused them to lose temporary custody of their children.…
Jumping Through Hoops
A while back, I was at a family team meeting (“FTM”), and a mom had a meltdown because she thought she was going to be able to have overnights soon with her son. Keep in mind that DHS never gives…
Transitioning out of DHS/Court Involvement
Oftentimes, parents can’t wait to have DHS (and everyone else associated with their DHS/Court Involvement) out of their life—and understandably so. It’s months, if not years, of having people scrutinizing your life, your choices, and your relationships. But sometimes, when all…
And Another Thing…
While I don’t anticipate making this a series, additional ideas have surfaced in my sometimes-chaotic brain. While it’s true that some of these things may not be “possible” for very good (or more likely not very good) reasons, it is…
Build Your Team
Yesterday was Thanksgiving in the U.S., and I saw a post by a dad I know (but do not represent) who was grateful for his daughter; she gave him purpose and helped him through the bad times. This is a…
How to Work with DHS Towards a Positive Outcome
As most people know, DHS has been in the news a lot lately—and not for good reasons. Following the starvation deaths of Natalie Finn last fall and Sabrina Ray more recently, Iowans—and their representatives—have been outraged (against the parents, DHS,…
Leaving Kids Alone
Last night, one of my neighbor boys came by to ask if he could use my phone. I don’t know his name, but I’ll call him Billy. The boys are, I would guess, upper elementary age. I agreed, but asked,…